My return to The Universal Church

I had no idea why I felt so confused coming out of the church. I thought I would be happy but I didn't. I went home that night scared. I couldn't be in the darkness alone. I had to sleep with the lights on. I wouldn't go outside during the night because I felt like someone was following me. I heard voices and saw shadows. " Was I going crazy?" I did not know what was wrong with me. I felt like I was loosing my mind. I didn't dare tell anyone about it. If I did, they will tell me I'm crazy. I still went to church. I manifested. Something in me wanted to get out but it couldn't. They would cover me with a purple blanket which they believed will protect me and remove all evil spirits. " NO!!!" This is not how you remove the evil spirits , I told myself. " I have evil spirits inside of me ! Take them out!!" That very moment I remember when I used to participate in The Universal Church and how every Friday was. I knew I need a strong Prayer , I needed those spirits to come out of me, but it wasnt there that I will remove them. I manifested constantly and they thought i was filled with the holy spirit. They believed I was anointed and I wasn't. " My God this is not right. Lord help me return to you" ....

Days passed by and it seems my problems just got worst. Until one day walking home I saw a lady from The Universal Church. She was on the corner selling her water. But as she was selling her water she was giving out some flyers. " I hope she doesn't see me like this" I thought to myself. I was embarrassed of who I had become. She stopped me and gave me a smile. Her smile warmed my heart and I felt as if her smile was a millions dollars. She asked me how I was and I told her my life is destroyed and I felt stuck. Thats when she handed me a flyer of a special event going on in the church" day of miracles" She asked if I would be able to attend. I was not to sure. The thought of people saying things about me scared me. " Yea I will go" I couldn't believe i said yes. She tied a white ribbon around my arm and I went home. That night something inside of me felt different. 

The day finally came. The day I was returning to The Universal Church after some years. I didn't know what to wear, so I randomly picked out a dress and went about. As I entered the church I felt peace, happy and knew I was in the right place. And that's when the process of deliverance began.....

Searching for Him

I opened my eyes and saw my clothes all ripped. I looked and felt as if i just got out of a terrific accident. My body was in pain, I felt lost and scared. " Did I die and my soul got trapped here" was I asked myself. Til this very day I remember. I thought I had died but didn't go to either hell or heaven. I got up real quick and ran to my phone. I had randomly called one of my friends. He picked up and he said hello, I said hi back scared if he wouldn't hear me. But he did. He asked me if I was ok...." I need to go to church, I need to find God" was what I responded. He was in shock but he told me he would take me to the church he attends on sundays. I knew I had to find God but I did not want to return to The Universal Church. I was scared, embarrassed, and something did not let me go there. I thought that they would judge me because of how I was and looked. " What would they say  about me? How would they look at me? I asked myself. " I am not going there" and I didn't. I went home that day with such a void in my heart. I knew something else was going to happen that night but I just didn't know what. I felt lost, scared and lonely. My mother would try to speak to me but all I will see is her mouth moving but I didn't hear what she was saying. " What's wrong with me" ....That night as I prepared myself to sleep a great fear came over me. "If I close my eyes, would I wake up the next morning". With that question in my mind I laid in my bed scared to close my eyes......

Sunday came, i got up took a shower and got dressed. My friend was on his way and I felt happy to go to church. All I wanted was to find God. I wanted to follow that God that saved me from death. As I got to the church they all said hello to me and looked very happy I was there. The service began and I closed my eyes, I poured my all, I told God everything that was inside of me. But Something inside of me told me this wasn't the place for me. I left there with confusion and that night didn't get any better..........